Blog - Ms. Tonya Todd

Close to the Chest

Posted on March 23, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 1 Comment

Greeting cards supplement holiday and birthday celebrations. During the in-between days, this unexpected token holds far more weight. The surprise factor alone should brighten your partner’s day. More than that, your personal touch will make this a gift to treasure.

Step away from the buzz of social media digital journals and show your partner how you feel with a carefully selected physical symbol of your love. A traditional card lasts longer than the fleeting feel of a text, an email, or even a phone call. Don’t weaken your gesture with a flashy, all-too-easy e-card. No videos to view. No pixels to peruse. Just a simple, old-fashioned paper reminder of your love.

Allow yourself an afternoon to search the greeting card section of your supermarket or visit a specialty store. Examine the aisles for a card face that suits your partner. Once you narrow your choices to the best covers, read the interior messages until one speaks to you. This gesture is about more than the gift. Humorous or sober. Sexy or sweet. You’ll find the time you spent finding the perfect blend of aesthetic value and sentiment well worthwhile.

Better yet, go the extra mile by making one yourself. There’s no better way to personalize than customizing your creation. Whichever way you choose, take the time to write a personal note expressing how you feel. This can be a quick “I love you” or a detailed affection confession. Use this chance to flirt or pour your heart into a poem. So, long as you share your feelings, your partner will cherish the way you’ve shown them in Week 12 of 52 Love.

If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar. (This post was updated since its original publication on March 25, 2019, long before Covid-19 social distancing. Please wait until it is safe to implement this practice.)

52 Love

Count the Little Things

Posted on March 16, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 8 Comments

Gratitude is more than a social nicety; it’s an important tool that reassures your partner that her efforts are both noticed and appreciated. Most people want to receive thanks for their deeds, even if it’s for something that they’re supposed to be doing. When life runs smoothly, people often take for granted the small labors that make that possible. For Week 11 in 52 Love, express your gratitude for those small tasks that improve your life.

Has it been years since you last filled your gas tank or mowed your lawn? Does the laundry fairy fold your socks and place them neatly in your drawer? Do plates and cups magically vanish from the dishwasher and appear in the cupboards? Unless you have a maid or lawn service responsible for those blessings, your partner deserves to hear, “Thank you.”

The power in these two words, especially when the recipient isn’t expecting them, can make her feel seen, appreciated, and treasured. Saying thank you is a simple and effective way to acknowledge your partner’s value to you. Even if you think she knows you appreciate her efforts, strengthen your bond with frequent reminders.

Many people offer these gestures as a reflex to strangers, yet this courtesy is even more important among intimates. Take care to recognize the time your partner spends to make life easier for you, especially given that we are such a time-deprived society. Acknowledge her contributions as a sign of respect. Like the old Tibetan phrase says, “If you take care of the minutes, the years will take care of themselves.”

Give your acknowledgment the power it deserves. Don’t say it in passing. Make your gratitude a moment. Take your partner by the hand, look her in the eyes, and tell her that her efforts matter. Let her know that the things she does make your life more pleasant and enjoyable. And for that, you love her.

52 Love

One for the Books

Posted on March 9, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 1 Comment

For Week 10 in 52 Love, buy your partner a book. This is not the time to gift that book you think he needs to read. You want him to feel appreciated, not judged. Try a selection from his favorite author. If he owns the whole collection, buy a book about that author. No favorite scribe? Find a book on a topic he likes. Make it clear that you have thought about his interests and searched for something that would suit him.

Take it one step further and read the book in tandem so he has a discussion partner. This tells him that you are aware of his tastes, and those tastes are important to you. Translation: he is important to you.

As with any gift, proper presentation morphs it from mundane to memorable. It’s easy to say it’s the thought that counts, but fancy packaging represents the extent of that thought. Whether you arrange it with tissue paper in a gift bag or dress it with decorative wrap, your personal touch provides a special boost that speaks the volumes between, “I found this while out shopping for myself” versus “I did this on purpose because I love you.”

Maximize his pleasure by including a custom bookmark. One of life’s small annoyances is trying to find something to mark your place when you start a new book. Bonus points if you purchase book and accessories at a local indie bookstore instead of online. A) With no email announcing its arrival, he won’t see it coming. B) Your in-person purchase is one more effort you made to personalize the gift.

Best of all, books can be enjoyed again and again. The gift itself lasts a lifetime, as does the memory of receiving it. And every time he sees the book, reads it, recalls the content, or uses your customized bookmark, he’ll associate the fond memory of your gesture.

52 Love

Talk Dirty to Me

Posted on March 2, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 2 Comments

Language is a sensual tool. Few things arouse like a large vocabulary. Yet, even the most educated indulge in naughty wordplay. The lead character in my WIP insists on always speaking with the grace of a lady. Determined to change that, her devilish beau threatens that, once permitted to ravish her, she should prepare herself for the passion he’ll unleash on her “and the league of obscenities that follow.” Now, there’s a man who understands the value in your next 52 Love lesson: titillating with your tongue.

Sapiosexual or not, a great way to show love is to make your partner feel desired. And public dirty talk does more than show love; it improves your sex life. By public, I don’t mean for you to make announcements. No need to broadcast your intimacy. Rather, in between mingling at your next social gathering, lean in close and whisper your sweet somethings within the public setting. Repeated throughout the evening, your covert acts will provide the thrill of getting away with something right under people’s noses and stimulate your partner on a deeper level.

Whispering feels important. Not only are you putting your mouth close to your partner’s ear, you’re speaking words for her alone. The soft tickle of your breath travels through every nerve and tingles body parts to attention.

Not sure what to say? When in doubt, stick with the basics. Tell her what you like about what she’s done in the past and how you plan to pleasure her in the future. What do you want to do to her? Where and how do you want to do it?

Use these starter phrases if you’re new to dirty talk. As you pass by your partner from one mini crowd to the next, take her aside and say, “The way you look in that dress has me crazy,” or “I can’t get enough of you. When we get home, I’m going to____!”

Feeling more confident? Let her know how her appearance is affecting your body or that you love the way she tastes. Lick the tip of her ear to remind her how your tongue feels. Then threaten to have your way with her right there at your event. Ask her, “What if I just bent you over the counter right now?” Or tell her how you’d like to slam her against the nearest wall and take her in front of all those people.

Make it clear that you can’t stop thinking about her. Catch her eye from across the room, raise one brow, and pretend to say your next temptation. Mouth your phone number or some other innocent tidbit to avoid getting caught by champion lip readers. The important thing is that even from a distance, you’re fueling future fires.

By the end of the night, make promises no mortal could deliver. “I’m going to make you scream enough to scare the neighbors.” Even if you don’t follow through, these frequent teases are enough to have her drag you into the bedroom the second you get home and inspire the delectable details in your next round of public dirty talk.

52 Love

Get Toasty

Posted on February 24, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 1 Comment

As much as I enjoyed the flurry of last year’s Vegas Snow, my body did not quickly acclimate to the accompanying chill. And while I’m never in a rush for our scorching summers, the temperature drop did prompt this 52 Love suggestion: counter the cold by creating your own heat.

Bake dessert for your partner. There is nothing more delicious than fresh-baked chocolate chip cookies straight out of the oven, their gooey rich flavors melting over your tongue. Involved with a pie guy? A warm apple pastry should heat his heart. Even if you don’t bake his treat from scratch, the loving gesture will fire his affection.

Heat a towel for your honey. While he washes off the cold day, toss a towel in the dryer, then bring it to him when he’s done. No dryer? No problem. Have him shower while your cookies bake. After the next batch, turn off the oven, place the towel on a clean baking sheet, and set it in the still-hot oven for 2-3 minutes. Resume baking while he dries.

Cocoon yourselves in a plush blanket. Wrap the corners around your bodies and snuggle within its warm folds. Kindle this intimate moment with subtle heated brushes along the arms or thighs. You’re only limited by where your hands can reach.

Separately, each of these tips creates heat. Combined, they ignite a hot storm of sentiment that strengthens your existing bond. Bake those cookies, warm that towel, snuggle together, then enjoy each other in the throes of burning passion. Summer will be here before we know it. Take advantage of these cooler days, and let the chill do what it will.

If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar. (This post was updated since its original publication following the 2019 Vegas snow fall on February 25, 2019.)

52 Love

Tango for Two

Posted on February 17, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 1 Comment

Partners who sweat together, stay together. It’s true. For this week’s tip, I’m stealing from my character Lucian’s arsenal. My recommendation: stay in for an evening of dancing.

That’s right, dance at home, where there’s no cover charge or waiting in line. No need to wear uncomfortable shoes. Better still, you control the music. No overplayed pop anthems will spoil the mood. Your playlist will set the tone for the evening be it “At Last,” “Let’s Get it On,” or simply “Dancing Machine.”

Whether literally or figuratively, dancing benefits the heart. Burning calories together elevates endorphins and raises your pulse. Cardio boost aside, the time spent close to your partner reconnects your bodies. Heavy breaths, tangled limbs, hips moving in sync. Your bodies work together toward a shared goal: mutual passion.

Dancing will help increase your bond. Shortness of breath and a racing pulse mirror the sensations of falling in love. Revive emotional memories as you sway together. Glide fingers over warm skin to rest your hand in the swoop of your partner’s back. Press chest to chest. Inspire desire with a light sweep of your fingers and the firm grip of your gaze. Wrapped in this much sensuality, you can’t help but arouse renewed affection.

Need help with your song choices? View Lucian’s playlist here. And, if you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar. (This post was updated since its original publication on February 18, 2019.)

52 Love

Playtime

Posted on February 10, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 2 Comments

Flowers and chocolates perfume the air; we’re close to Valentine’s Day. Those tried-and-true gifts are great—thoughtful even—51 weeks out of the year, but on this special day, get creative. Galvanize your love life with a sexy game.

While there are dozens of premade options you could buy (and I recommend that you do), my post focuses on games you can play without the added expense.

Your game can be as simple as strip poker, or better yet, strip Twister. Straightforward carefree fun. If you want to tantalize your lover’s brain as well as his body, try games like Scrabble or Scattergories that require some measure of thinking. I guarantee concentration will become more challenging with each item tossed to the floor.

Run out of clothes? For a bonus side-game, number your six favorite body parts, then roll a die to determine which one you kiss. Play like this until you can no longer keep your hands (or your lips) off each other.

More adventurous lovers should give role-play a try. You and your partner choose a scenario and improvise as you progress. Not quite comfortable with that level, then start with a game of fantasy charades, but instead of performing solo, you act them out on one another.

If you’re somewhere in between, replace the list of actions with a box of costumes. Whichever item you draw from the box inspires the scene you perform on each other. For every cheerleader, French maid, and sexy nurse fantasy you bring to life, he’ll portray your firefighter, naughty cop, and randy repairman. (Full disclosure: I stole those last two from one of my manuscripts.)

The best part about these sexy games is that even for the most competitive players, no matter the outcome, you both win. And if you truly need the title, the rematch can sate all your cravings.

52 Love

Fervent Verses

Posted on February 3, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 2 Comments

You don’t have to be Edward Bulwer-Lytton to recognize the power of the pen. Nor must you be Shakespeare to power your pen effectively. This week, celebrate your powerful passion by penning your love in a poem.

Poetry reaches the soul. Whispered words. Perfumed prose. Kisses caressing your core. A poem crafted from love can infiltrate your partner’s psyche and penetrate to the root of what makes her yours.

At a basic level, poetry consists of symbols that communicate strong emotion or beauty. As a means to express love, a handwritten poem lasts as a permanent reminder of your affection. This gesture will express your sentiment on multiple levels. Regardless of your partner’s love language, she will appreciate the time you spent composing, the prose that confesses your heart, and the physical gift that captures it all.

Experiment with your poem. Let your creative juices flow. Try a dirty limerick, compose an acrostic list with adjectives that describe her, or detail your devotion to her lips. The tone can range from the tenderness of “How Do I Love Thee?” to the titillation of “May I Feel?” No need to study poetic format to script your loving words. The beauty of poetic license means you need not limit your possibilities. Whether free prose, haiku, limerick, or sonnet, the important thing is to capture your heart on the page.

If you try this method or have a better suggestion, let me know in the comments. For weekly tips on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar. (This post was originally published February 4, 2019.)

52 Love

Step by Step

Posted on January 27, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 2 Comments

Never underestimate the value of agenda-free time. Oddly enough, one of the best ways I’ve found to block the outside world is to go… outside. The next time you want to showcase your affection, grab your partner for a healthy jaunt outdoors.

Let this alone time remind that you need only each other. Fresh air and exercise work wonders for the soul. Walking alone increases blood flow, reduces stress, and promotes a healthy mind and body. With a partner, it produces much more. A relaxing stroll can help you both decompress from the fast-paced hustle of your all-too-busy lives. Clear your minds from the daily burdens and simply enjoy one another’s company. Leave phones at home. Forgo overstimulating technology. Instead, embrace each other.

Make memories by enjoying the journey. Ignore your destination and your step count; your goal is together time. While outdoors, share the visuals that often go unnoticed: plants in bloom, critters at play, impressive cloud formations. Turn to your partner and absorb the way the sun highlights the sparkle in his eyes.

This focused attention strengthens your bond. And, prioritizing time together shows him how much he means to you when you’re apart. Little efforts like this accumulate over time. Eventually, these everyday expressions build the foundation for a lifetime of love.

As a bonus, use this opportunity to incorporate the 52 Love lessons from the last 3 weeks. Hold hands during your stroll, employ great listening skills, and treat your sweetie to a hot beverage after you come in from the cold. Who knows? After your walk, you may catch a second wind, which could lead to other intimate endeavors. You’ll certainly sleep better afterward.

52 Love

The Whole World

Posted on January 20, 2020 by Sin City Cinephile / 2 Comments

I’m always touched when I see an elderly couple walking hand-in-hand. Relationships evolve over time. No matter what stage you and your partner have reached, I recommend holding hands through this branch of your journey. It may seem like a small expression, but sometimes the smallest gestures wield the greatest power.

On a basic level, hand-holding expresses a shared connection. This is true even in non-romantic relationships. With your partner, holding hands links you together, binds your bodies, locks you as one. And, no matter the size difference, holding hands demonstrates that you fit together. This simple act communicates complex signals—signals that delve beneath the skin’s surface to root their message deep within your partner. Interlock fingers to express a desired attachment. Hold tight to convey solidarity. Stroke your thumb across bare skin as your promise of pleasures to come.

There’s a reason Shakespeare said, “let lips do what hands do.” That sensual skin-on-skin contact mirrors the press of two lips. Much like kissing, hand-holding produces oxytocin, which in turn stimulates dopamine and serotonin. Hands and fingers possess the most nerve endings in the body. Imagine the potency in each subtle skin-brushed sweep.

Hand-holding can be a proud public statement that declares: I’m with her! It can be a comforting voice that murmurs: I’m with you. More importantly, hand-holding provides a shared intimacy that whispers: I love you.