For week 19 of 52 Love, let’s examine another effort from Lucian Blake. As part of his seduction of my main character, he capitalizes on her compulsive need to be clean by dropping to one knee, ripping open a Wet-nap wrapper with his teeth like a condom foil, and cleansing her hands before a sunset picnic. (We’ll get to picnics in this series; I promise.) Not only did this cater to her unspoken desires, it provided an opportunity for him to touch her. The manuscript is still unpublished, so I won’t spoil the story by telling you how she responds. What I will say is how you can modify his idea to increase intimacy with your partner, be she borderline OCD or the down and dirty type.
Instead of hands, this week’s focus is washing your partner’s hair. If you’ve ever bent your neck to dip your head into the basin at a hair salon, you know how amazing it feels for a relative stranger to shampoo and rinse your hair. When done by someone you love, and in the privacy of your own home, it’s akin to foreplay.
If done with altruistic intentions, this act can reward you as much as your partner. Service strengthens your bond. You may recall an episode of Grey’s Anatomy where Meredith had just escaped a bomb’s explosion. Her friends joined her in the shower to wash away what they could of the trauma with their bare hands. They gave freely and the experience drew them closer. Think of this experience as a way to serve your lover. Your goal is to clean her hair, scrub her scalp, and make her feel loved in the process.
For the purpose of this exercise, we’ll assume you’re sharing a shower. Evocative scents and textures enhance the romance. Instead of her usual shampoo, consider a brand with exotic essential oils to add an element of luxury. Adjust the water to a safe temperature. Then, clasp your partner’s forearm, turn it over in your hands, and test the water together. Once you have her preferred pressure and temperature, gently dip her head into the water. Saturate her hair down to the scalp. Pay attention as some heads of hair take longer than others.
Once the area is thoroughly wet, squeeze enough shampoo into your palm to work up a good froth. Lather the slick foam through her hair thoroughly. This is a great opportunity to incorporate the massage tips from Week 14. Remember the temples and nape of the neck. Spend extra time at the roots to remove buildup from oils, sweat, dirt, and even makeup.
Curly hair takes extra care. Tender heads and tangles can kill the mood. Work one section at a time using gentle strokes to prevent knots and snagging. Avoid circular swirling. Aim for downward motions at a slow, rhythmic pace, gradually move your fingers deeper as you go.
Each head of hair is unique. When in doubt about what to do, ask. Use this experience to start a dialogue about what she likes, and where she likes it, not to mention how she wants you to do it. Your comfort with these discussions will likely translate to greater intimacy in other areas.
This type of physical contact arouses endorphins. Your loving act isn’t meant as a prelude to sex, yet the sensual pleasure provoked by your fingertips may lead there. Let that be her call. Your job is to keep your hands where she wants them during this deeply caring gesture. Even if it remains chaste, seeing the ecstasy in your partner’s face will bring you pleasure too.
If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar.
