I believe in counting one’s blessings, appreciating the gifts life unfolds. Collecting those precious drops of fortune can maintain spiritual survival during droughts. Blessings come in irregular waves, making it difficult to refuse any during a flood.
Whether acting or writing, much of my journey consists of sticking to the grind. Querying, submitting, auditioning, putting myself out there with the hope that someone will invite me to share my work. In any one instance, the odds are against success. It’s a numbers game. The more you try, the more likely you’ll hear that blessed, “Yes.”
October arrived with an affirmative abundance, more than I could accept. As a result of auditioning, I landed roles in two industrial projects, a short film, a television pilot, a feature film, and a play. All planned to shoot/rehearse/perform during this month. These amazing gifts were overwhelming enough. The universe offered more.
Unrequested (though not unwanted) opportunities landed in my lap: a 2-day speaking engagement at the Experienced Writer’s Retreat, an interview with The Riveter, a 2-performance reprisal of Titania in A Midsummer Night’s Dream. I was asked to serve as an opening act for Black Mountain Institute’s A.M. Homes Days of Awe presentation at the Las Vegas Book Festival and as the headliner for Author Portraits Gallery Opening. I was offered two short film roles without audition, invited to tour The Lab in Area 15, and joined the team of readers for Witness magazine. Even half of these blessings are cause to celebrate, yet I scarcely found time to enjoy my bountiful good fortune.
Guilt accompanied each minute of delight, and I began to feel negligent in my duties. You see, this list excludes time I spent serving as Henderson Writing Group’s Education Chair. Each month, I’m responsible for mediating two of their critique group nights, coordinating Dime Grinds, and overseeing the author book club. If not for the amazing support of members Andres Fragoso Jr and Ned Barnett, I’d have finished October with pumpkin-sized egg on my face. HWG also started preparing for our spring writing conference, which meant faculty recruiting couldn’t wait for when I’m less busy.
None of that time factors in my attendance at three private critique groups or weekly volunteering at The Writer Workshop at The Center. Nor does it account for the hours spent auditioning for roles I failed to land. Learning lines, researching roles, driving to LA or recording from home—all use time I might have invested rehearsing for in-hand blessings. I’m spread thin. While I truly appreciate every one of these gifts, I recognize the toll they’ve taken on my health.
Each blessing cost me time and attention to self-care. My body screams for something more nutritious than a granola bar for meals. I’m soft from too little exercise. I eat what I can, rest when I must, and power through each moment between. Although I sleep in my own bed, I’m living out of a travel bag that I never quite unpack. I miss my friends, who understand. I miss my cats, who don’t. More than anything, I miss my greatest passion—writing.
This is just a blog post, yet it feels wonderful to plant words on a page. Chapter piles lie stagnant on my desk, paused from progress. Business cards clutter the corner from no time to follow-up with new associates. Despite my gratitude, I can’t keep up this rapid pace.
October begged the question, “Can there be too much of a good thing?” I tested the theory. Reaped the rewards. Pushed myself beyond perceived possibilities. In the last month, I’ve accomplished more than some people do in three. I’ve met amazing people, worked with fine talent, and fed my soul along the way. In the end, I wouldn’t change a thing. To quote Mae West, “Too much of a good thing can be wonderful.”
Wonderful, yet unsustainable. Which leads me to next month.
In honor of NaNoWriMo, I am using November to write. I won’t delude myself into thinking I can slow down enough to finish a 50,000-word project, but I can certainly devote the month to nurturing author-related goals. Those goals include returning to good habits: sleeping well, exercising mind and body, eating better, and writing consistently. Restoring my routines will fortify my reserves so that when the tide of blessings swells again, I’ll be ready to ride the wave.
Thanks for reading!
