Get Out of Character to Get Into Character

This week, as the next step in our attire-themed intimacy tips, let’s stretch our imagination in a different direction. Many anticipate Halloween as a yearly excuse to transform, an opportunity to shed one’s day-to-day appearance for something more exciting. Trying new things together keeps relationships fresh. For Week 29 of 52 Love, transform your relationship by ditching your everyday costumes.

Cosplay can be as simple as dressing like beloved characters from a television series. Or you can manifest meticulous recreations of larger-than-life superheroes. Escape from everyday monotony by bringing your fantasies to life.

As a portmanteau of “costume” and “play,” cosplay allows a fun way to reveal pieces of yourself that may usually stay hidden. Couples’ cosplay encourages you to explore those pieces together. You can dress as a fictional couple, share individual favorites with each other, or cater to each other’s whims. Perhaps your partner has a favorite character whose look really excites her. Imagine how she’ll respond when she sees you dressed that way.

Some people want to jump right into character without the hassle of sewing and gluing pieces. Others love the thrill of creating the looks from scratch. Whether you and your partner choose to buy or create, embrace the chance to embark on a new adventure together.

If you’re new to cosplay, no need to spend exorbitant amounts of money on costumes or props. You’ll be surprised at the treasures one finds in thrift stores and clearance sections. If you and your partner have already dabbled in cosplay, maybe it’s time to elevate your game with more elaborate costumes. Get creative with gender-bending versions. Or conceive interpretations that you’ve always wanted to see.

One of you too shy to go all out? Wear something that doesn’t attract more attention than you desire. The subtle suspenders from your Dr. Who getup may not garner the same recognition as full-blown Storm Trooper armor, but what the common observer misses becomes a shared secret between you and your partner. Rather than focus on outward dress alone, pay homage to the qualities you admire in the character. Sprinkle your conversation with phrases from your character’s unique vocabulary.

Stepping into the boots of a powerful character can boost your confidence. Many cosplayers are shy, yet once they slip into their costumes, the character’s traits shield the wearer from perceived vulnerabilities. This new strength can lead to playtime with your partner. Give yourselves permission to behave more boldly than you might ordinarily. Reinvent yourselves and your roles in your surroundings. Adjust your plans to your mutual level of comfort. Since you and your partner define the rules, there’s no way to fail.

In time, you and your partner may extend your cosplay into bigger adventures. Throw a themed party. Hit the Renaissance Fair. Dress up for a children’s charity. I’m not suggesting you sign up for the next cosplay convention, though if you and your partner are game, why not go for it? Whether it’s for private enjoyment, public spectacle, or somewhere in between, revel in the new dimension cosplay can add to your relationship.

If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar.

1 Comment

  1. As always Tonya, this piece is quite interesting and the great point you made of once slipping into a cosplay costume alters one’s personality- the shy become bold through wearing their alter ego costume. Thank You for explaining the mash-up in a light brilliant fashion, just as you are- I would love to see you as “Storm” you would be absolutely AWESOME!

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