We’ve reached the last week in July, and with it, the final attire-themed intimacy tip. Although the month focused a lot on what to wear, this week may have your clothes flying. For Week 30 of 52 Love, engage in a seductive game of roleplay, starring you and your partner.
Roleplaying can help overcome inhibitions. Some may fantasize about dressing like a 1950s housewife while their partner (or perhaps the milkman) bends them over the kitchen counter in broad daylight, a completely different experience than for contemporary lovers. Others may fancy the taboo of sex with a stranger, regardless of the era. Whether you live a very controlled life and secretly covet being told what to do, or you’ve always wanted to tie your partner to the bed to please him a thousand new ways, exploring your desires together will lead to a deeper, more intimate understanding of each other.
Fantasy intensifies the sexual experience. Playing through sexy scenarios as different characters allows you to embark through new territory together. Masked by your costumes, you can boldly experiment with dirty talk or different positions without fear. The uptight teacher will apply ruler lashings without hesitancy. Randy Repairman will embrace the naughty pipe puns that would make your usual self giggle. Let your creative juices flow as you invent your scenarios. And if you or your partner reach your limit, simply slip back into your own skin and voice it.
When approached from a partnership of sanctuary, roleplay strengthens the physical and emotional bond. However you initiate the topic, start from a place of encouragement. Assure your partner that the suggestion stems from a desire to grow closer, not from dissatisfaction with previous performances.
Fantasies vary. Roleplaying brings many connotations to mind. One person’s French maid is another person’s midnight intruder. Ignore what you think the world says you should want. Let go of unrealistic expectations that may discourage you from moving beyond your usual boundaries. This exercise is about realizing your fantasies and those of your partner. Those are the only opinions that matter.
Communication is key. The more you share, the better you can meet each other’s desires. Ease into the conversation by asking about his turn-ons. Admit that the topic makes you nervous too. Working through insecurities together will bolster against that vulnerability when sharing your fantasies.
Depending on your relationship, you may feel comfortable suggesting roleplay without reservations or perhaps you prefer an indirect approach. If the latter, consider watching a film with an erotic scene and asking your partner if he’s ever wanted to try something like that. Be prepared to answer the same question. If the conversation goes well, you may be in the market for a sexy firefighter outfit, though whether it’s for you or him, only the two of you need know.
Reading sexy stories to each other, or better yet, narrating original tales can open the door to sexual roleplay. These stories can help transition timid partners and pave the way to more elaborate playtime. The best way to get past embarrassment is through trying. If the character you’re playing is free to speak, help your partner push through the initial bashfulness with sexy encouragements. And if you find your mouth too hindered with a gag or some other obstruction, then you’re already well on your way to fulfilling fantasies.
If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar.
Tonya, as usual you delight and intrigue your readers with your lovely way with words in explaining taboo subjects with such a brilliance that is simply wonderful!