Though I write about love, Romance novels aren’t my favorite to read. As with any genre, though, I occasionally find a sparkling jewel among the unpolished stones. One such gem, Nicola Yoon’s The Sun is Also a Star, taught me that four silent minutes can ignite a spark between people. That lesson prompted this week’s tip. If looking into a stranger’s eyes for four minutes makes you fall in love, consider how it can increase intimacy between existing lovers. My recommendation for Week 25 of 52 Love is to find a quiet spot, silence notifications, and gaze into your partner’s eyes for four minutes.
Constant eye contact may sound daunting. In our digital point-and-click world, four minutes is a long time to focus on anything, let alone stare at someone without talking. At first, your emotional discomfort may manifest in physical ticks. This isn’t a staring contest. It’s acceptable to blink. It’s okay to laugh, too. Expect a few outbursts of nervous smiling until you settle in together.
Because you care more about what she thinks of you, staring into your partner’s eyes may be more challenging than staring into a stranger’s. Not only are you looking at your partner, you are allowing her to see you. Similar to tandem prayer, this experience opens the door to shared vulnerability. So long as you take the exercise seriously—no funny faces— you can ride those awkward waves together.
Focused eye contact stimulates affection. Once you get past the initial strangeness, you and your partner will be open and connected to one another. The quiet moments might trigger memories from your time together or inspire new appreciation for the sparkle shining your way. Eye contact can also cause arousal. Whatever your response, channel those thoughts and emotions into a four-minute reminder to treasure your partner and appreciate her presence in your life.
This focused time invites you and your partner to forge a tighter bond and strengthen your connection. Afterward, you can discuss how you felt during the four minutes. Better yet, show your partner how you feel now.
If you try this intimacy tip or have a better recommendation, let me know in the comments. For weekly suggestions on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar.
