All Ears

Communication is essential to a healthy relationship. This may sound banal and clichéd, but one of the best ways couples can show love is by asking about each other’s day and, (here’s the most important part) listening to the answer. 

Remember the days, before you were partners, when you two would spend hours chatting over the phone? When the rest of the world fell away and time belonged only to you? So frequently, the hustle and bustle of life prevents quality conversation. Important emotional clues are communicated through voice and facial expression. Texting and IMing can’t replace the intimacy of one-on-one dialogue between lovers. This week, gift your full, in-person attention when he shares details from his day.

Block distractions, stay focused, and ask thoughtful questions along the way. This isn’t about pulling information from your partner. It’s not an interrogation. In fact, you should do very little of the talking. Avoid steering the conversation toward subject matter that interests you. He interests you. That’s why you’re listening.

Even if he sticks to topics that don’t appeal to you, hear his trivialities with the same interest you would if he’d been away on a long trip and came home to share the experience with you. Shut down your phone, switch off the television, sit on the edge of your chair, and truly focus on him. Letting him feel like he captivates you will spark an energy exchange that benefits you both. You may just find his story ends with an unexpected twist. And, even if it doesn’t, he’ll hear the point of your story: he is loved by you.

If you try this method or have a better suggestion, let me know in the comments. For weekly tips on how to show your partner love, sign up for my blog, 52 Love, in the sidebar. (This post was originally published January 14, 2019.)

3 Comments

  1. Hey Tonya-
    Loved this week’s post about truly listening to your partner especially now a days as usual you are spot on which is why my second ex-husband and I continue to stay in touch even though he has been remarried for two years now- she does not do the one thing he and I always did- talk to each other face to face in close proximity to each other and because we did that for twenty years that same intimacy still comes across the phone line, we still feel each other we can tell how the other is feeling just by the tone of voice which is why we will always love each other and yes we still say, “I love you.” before we hang up and when we text we end with ILY.
    Thank you for another lovely piece!
    -Valerie

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